THE CLEANSING....

Have you had one of those runs? One of those runs that if asked you could figure out all of the world's problems. Not only did I feel cleansed afterward, I felt lighter, much lighter. Running at night lends itself to the feeling of being alone. The darkness and the lack of other people is why I usually do it. That and it is the only time I seem to be able fit it in. Tuesday was different from the start. The alarm on our mini van kept going off for no reason. every couple of minutes it was HONK HONK HONK HONK!!! Beth took it for a spin around the block to see if that would help and sure enough no more alarm. I still expected to hear it go off as I started down the street. I started to notice things like all of the animals that cross my path. Mostly squirrels and rabbits. Once I got to the main roads it was unusually loud, but quiet at the same time. The trees seemed to be closer to the sidewalk than normal and it reminded me of a time years ago when I went for a walk while reading The Lord of The Ring. There is a chapter in that book where a band of travellers have to go through this forest, I just happened to be reading that chapter at that time and I still remember feeling like I was part of the story. Then there was the sound of the tires on the wet road. Sounds just like butter wen you put it into a hot pan. And I never realized just how load fire trucks are. One passed me and man oh man it was loud.

Then my mind shifted to my kids and how I feel inadequate as a father at times and all I seem to do is yell. Sometimes I wish I was different in that regard and I have tried to change, but change is hard and comes too slow. My step son brought home a progress report from school and he is doing really well. When he gave it to me I looked it over and didn't really give him the credit he deserved. Not sure why I do that, but it bothered me enough to surface during the run and I talked to him about it when I got home. Running is one of the few times this happens. Things just seem to be clearer.

The last 3 miles started with me thinking terrible thoughts about my kids being hurt or abducted. I wish those thoughts never surfaced, but as a parent they do. We worry something fierce. The Sunday before my run I went to the grocery store in the afternoon and noticed a pickup sitting at the end of my street with 2 guys I have never seen before. It didn't strike me a weird, but at the same time I decided to swing around the block and tell Beth, my wife, about it and asked her to keep a closer eye on the little ones. I drove past the truck again this time I took a closer look and as I drove by they put their seat belts on drove away. I turned around again to follow them, but by the time I did they had already gone. Probably nothing, but it got me thinking. Well during the run, as I said these thought creeped in and I didn't time it but I felt myself going faster. I think I wanted to get home and check on everyone. Everyone was fine as I knew they would be.

Anyway.. enough of my blathering on. The run by the way was 6 miles...59:01...nice and slow, but I needed it, so did my brain.

Thanks for stopping in,
R.P.D.