Why are we emotional creatures? Don't you think at times it would be easier to be cyborgesque? At the very least it would be nice to be able to shut emotions off when necessary. I find myself at a crossroads in my life and it is having a ripple effect on everything and anything. From my work day to my running, it is all been lousy lately. When I'm happy and things are just rolling along I tend to take it for granted and then something happens and WHAM! It's just like hitting a brickwall. All of a sudden...who, what, where??? My stomach is in knots, no appetite, no motivation to run, or to do anything for that matter, but at the same time there is this rage inside. Like a fire that ebbs and flows throughout the day. When I do get out and run I use that fire, I use that anger, and more importantly I use the time to "veg" out. I put myself in a imaginary bubble and shut the brain off!! I only wish I could consume all of it, but that doesn't happen and after a time it's back fueling on my insecurities and weakness. Eventually it will burn out and things will grow back, to the way they were, no, but close enough that most wouldn't see the scars underneath.
I guess without these valleys there wouldn't be any peaks and life would be... well it wouldn't be life.

In the midst of all this crap there is my kids, totally oblivious to what their dad is dealing with and they are better than any drug or drink. I can watch them, even for just a second, and my troubles vanish. The look in their eyes when I walk through that door, WOW. You parents out there know what I mean. Everyone else will have to take my word for it.
Have you ever just stopped and watched a 3 year old jump on the couch. It is pure happiness, at that very moment all is right in the world and nothing can go wrong. Next time, before your instincts take over and you tell them to stop, just watch for a minute. I think maybe we should try and do that. Jump on the couch, run for no reason, play tag, skip. When is the last time you have skipped? Forget about work, the bills, the lawn, global warming, whatever and just jump on the couch for a minute or two.

Well here is to life and all of its up and downs!! How we make it through sometimes I don't know and I guess I'm not supposed to know. I just have to trust it.

Have a great day,
R.P.D.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius