Just saying that word suddenly makes me feel better. Last night I had a really, I mean really cleansing run. I did a slow 6 miles with my daughter and by the time I got back home I felt like a new person. Clarity, Webster says: clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. I call it peace of mind. Now understand, I know this could be nothing more than a fleeting moment in the chaos that is my life, but I am learning to relish these moments. Thursday Beccah and I went to see her Dr. We arrived about a half hour early so we found a seat in the waiting room. There is a small TV in the room and on the TV the movie Elf was playing. Beccah decided to sit on my lap and we just sat there watching Elf. We laughed at the funny parts, but really we just sat there. For me it was the best 35 minutes I have had in a long time. I cannot remember the last time I felt so totally relaxed. Clarity.
Sitting at home after the kids are in bed and my wife is out my brain has been on overdrive. What should I do, what could I have done, what about tomorrow, the pool, the bills, school starting, overtime, the house, the family. Yikes, the noise! So to have just 35 minutes of nothing but Elf and Beccah is pure joy. Back to run last night. It started like any other run, but as I went on all of those thoughts/problems that have been floating in my head suddenly began to sort themselves out. By mile 4 it was like a well oiled machine, taking 1 problem at a time, organizing, analyzing, and filing it away, next! I felt 20 lbs lighter when I was done. Clarity.
So as I start this Thursday my troubles are still there, the difference is they are MY troubles I own them, they don't own me anymore. I have a marathon to train for, 26.2 miles, 147244 feet. I don't have time to be bogged down by troubles. October 22, 2006 I will cross the finish line and I will do it running.
"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in
the sunlight." -Benjamin Franklin -